Making a t shirt screen.LOL it was pretty messy but hey, it was my
first try.
I'll get better, hopefully, and finally be able to
personally make you some shirts.
I'll keep you posted
Making a t shirt screen.LOL it was pretty messy but hey, it was my
first try.
I'll get better, hopefully, and finally be able to
personally make you some shirts.
I'll keep you posted
Label: DGC/InterscopeRating: 5 Guns
Buy On:
Written By: Jim Markunas
"Holy F%&$!!!" is the only phrase I can think of to describe "Metamorphosis," Papa Roach's 5th Major label offering, and followup to 2006's "Paramour Sessions." Having abandoned their metal roots for a more dangerous, biker-bar sound, Papa Roach have crowned themselves the new kings of dangerous; one-upping fellow rock bands like Avenged Sevenfold and Buckcherry.
Papa Roach made a promise to pummel their listeners with full-on rock, opening with the instrumental "Days of War," and delivered, ripping immediately into the altruistic-yet-in-your-face, "Change or Die.
Street-single "Hollywood Whore" follows third, and showcases the classic Papa Roach sound found on "Love.Hate.Tragedy" and "Getting Away With Murder." The song is obviously about stereotypical Hollywood party girls, but the juxtoposition of Jacoby's angry and bitterly comical lyrics take the old story to another level of rock; as does the anti-love song "I Almost Told You That I Loved You."
Current single, "Lifeline" channels classic rock, and sounds a bit like U2 on meth (see video below). P. Roach's guitar player Jerry Horton shows his stuff on this track, proving once and for all that Nu-Metal bands can play a guitar solo if they want to!
"Had Enough," in addition to protesting this nation's war-mongering spirit, in a way re-vamps "Forever," the middle single from "Paramour Sessions," but throws in a little bit of the Deftones' and Interpol's cerebral brand of rock.
"Live This down" just plain kicks ass. Enough said.
The last half of "Metamorphosis" becomes experimental and rock-opera-esq (not a criticism). Each song from track 8-12 fits into a running theme, showcases Papa Roach's versatility, and channels the pomp of glam rock.
I don't usually pester people to buy albums (afterall, I am a journalist), but... Everyone out there HAS to buy this album. Please click the links in this review to get "Metamorphosis" off iTunes and/or Amazon.
Papa Roach - "Lifeline" (Video)
Label: DGC/InterscopeRating: 5 Guns
Buy On:
Written By: Jim Markunas
"Holy F%&$!!!" is the only phrase I can think of to describe "Metamorphosis," Papa Roach's 5th Major label offering, and followup to 2006's "Paramour Sessions." Having abandoned their metal roots for a more dangerous, biker-bar sound, Papa Roach have crowned themselves the new kings of dangerous; one-upping fellow rock bands like Avenged Sevenfold and Buckcherry.
Papa Roach made a promise to pummel their listeners with full-on rock, opening with the instrumental "Days of War," and delivered, ripping immediately into the altruistic-yet-in-your-face, "Change or Die."
Street-single "Hollywood Whore" follows third, and showcases the classic Papa Roach sound found on "Love.Hate.Tragedy" and "Getting Away With Murder." The song is obviously about stereotypical Hollywood party girls, but the juxtoposition of Jacoby's angry and bitterly comical lyrics take the old story to another level of rock; as does the anti-love song "I Almost Told You That I Loved You."
Current single, "Lifeline" channels classic rock, and sounds a bit like U2 on meth (see video below). P. Roach's guitar player Jerry Horton shows his stuff on this track, proving once and for all that Nu-Metal bands can play a guitar solo if they want to!
"Had Enough," in addition to protesting this nation's war-mongering spirit, in a way re-vamps "Forever," the middle single from "Paramour Sessions," but throws in a little bit of the Deftones' and Interpol's cerebral brand of rock.
"Live This down" just plain kicks ass. Enough said.
The last half of "Metamorphosis" becomes experimental and rock-opera-esq (not a criticism). Each song from track 8-12 fits into a running theme, showcases Papa Roach's versatility, and channels the pomp of glam rock.
I don't usually pester people to buy albums (afterall, I am a journalist), but... Everyone out there HAS to buy this album. Please click the links in this review to get "Metamorphosis" off iTunes and/or Amazon.
Papa Roach - "Lifeline" (Video)
A Fox News Scientific Report that aired Sunday identifies the looming swine flu pandemic as the latest attempt by terrorists to destroy the United States and its allies. The unfolding plot, according to Chief Science Correspondent, Aloysius Divine, underscores the deadly effects of the Obama administration’s ever softening stance toward terrorism.“There is now incontrovertible proof,” concludes Divine, “Of a possible link between swine flu and terrorist cells. Is it mere coincidence that terrorists are launching their most emboldened attack just as the Obama administration shows signs of opening an investigation against terrorism’s most implacable foes in the Bush administration?”
In an exclusive interview with former Vice President Dick Cheney, Mr. Cheney insists that the looming pandemic vindicates Bush administration policies.
“While everyone was whining and urging us to take action during our time in office about phony issues like climate change, terrorists were busy developing a new strain of flu that will cause millions of deaths. This proves that terrorism remains the only real threat to the survival of the United States.”
In keeping with Fox News’s commitment to fair and balanced reporting, Leonard “Mad Dog” Trotsky, self-appointed spokesperson for a coalition of centrist and left-of-centrist groups, speaking from a locked down unit of a psychiatric ward in New York City, insists that former Vice President Dick Cheney himself is the actual cause of the new strain of swine flu.
“The virulence of this strain of flu and its ability to pass from swine to humans points directly to Vice President Cheney who, after years of wallowing with pigs, and his well documented propensity for causing untold suffering and deaths, is the most likely missing link between infected swine and humans,” Trotsky claims.
The former Vice President vigorously refutes the assertion, decrying Trotsky’s guilt by loose association as “un-American.”
“A looming global pandemic of these proportions,” Mr. Cheney says, “Is clearly the work of terrorists and their enablers and calls for an immediate roundup of anyone who might in any way, wittingly or unwittingly, be aiding and abetting them.”
Cheney calls for the immediate incarceration of the entire United States Justice Department and the Executive Branch of the United States government, while there is still time to save our country. Cheney also proposes a fair test to determine whether he or Trotsky are right.
“Let’s set up some extended periods of waterboarding and other truth determination techniques to separate out the innocent from the terrorists,” he says, “The guilty will eventually confess, and the information we extract from them will enable us to develop an effective vaccine. And the innocent who survive the test, after physical and mental rehabilitation and a few decades of close surveillance, can eventually return to normal lives in a much safer America.”
Mr. Cheney calls for the massive truth determination techniques to begin immediately.
“It worked at Salem and it will work here, today,” he says, “The time bomb is ticking, and we cannot afford to divert our attention from terrorism for another moment.”
Written By: Jim Markunas"So let me get this straight. The Pirate Bay shuts down and suddenly all its users go legit, stop trading and start buying the wares of the entertainment companies." - Bob Lefsetz
The music industry is the only industry in the world that is willing to take civil and legal action against its own consumers. Think about that for a moment... When was the last time GM or Apple Computer put you in jail?
Although piracy is wrong on a lot of levels, it simply cannot be stopped in a cost effective and/or mutually beneficial manner.
Here's why the Pirate Bay prosecution was yet another colossal failure for the music industry even though its being touted as a "victory."
1. "You'll Never Get Her Back on the Farm Once She's Been to Gay Paree"
The cat's been out of the bag for a while... As a consumer, you simply don't have to pay for music. Every song ever released is available on the internet for free in MP3 form. As an industry, we must come to the horrible realization (and really realize it) that most people aren't willing to pay $18.99 for something that they can get for free.
The music industry will never be able to get consumers to pay for music now that it's been free for the last 9 years. Sure... some albums sell, but those days are numbered.
2. Alienating One's Target Market is the Surest Way NOT to Sell a Product or Idea
People view record labels and music industry professionals as greedy and dishonest. This is a fact. It's brought on partly because of the way we've done business in the last 70 years, but mostly because we've resorted to suing college students, jailing talented computer programmers, and strong-arming universities across the US.
As an industry, we suck! We'll have to learn to "un-suck" in order to get things moving again. If we can win back public trust, we can turn a profit once more.
3. Touting Pirate Bay as a "Victory" Buys Into The Outdated Business Model of "Selling Records"
Yes, music industry, it was great when we had a physical product and people paid us handsomely for it, but those days are going the way of the dinosaur - If we don't start to explore new income streams as an industry we're going to be extinct faster than the dodo.
Suing pirates in a "whack-a-mole" fashion not only costs labels millions of dollars in legal fees and damages the reputation of the music biz as a whole, but also points our Tyrannosaurus Rex-like, single-pointed focus in a direction that's failing - towards the old business model!
If the music business' old business model was working, we wouldn't have to sue pirates, because we'd be too rich to care.
I hereby proclaim the album dead! Now what??
OBLIGATORY PLUG: Let's become too rich to care! Let's make filesharing work for the business instead of against it. E-mail me for an interview, and we can discuss how to make the music business work without selling records.
Jim Markunas is a music industry futurist and editor-in-chief of Chicks With Guns Magazine. Jim has a decade of new media and music industry experience, he's run highly successful new media campaigns and has worked with James Brown, Miles Davis, The Walt Disney Company, Truckee Brothers, Mick Fleetwood, and Minty Fresh Records. Currently Jim's focus is monetization strategies for record labels and digital business development.
Find Jim Online:
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Written By: Drew Madden
When my editor called me and gave me this assignment, I was exited. Jimmy the Tool was finally coming through. I was getting the interview I always wanted. Padma Lakshmi, best known as a former model-turned-judge on TV’s Top Chef recently did a controversial TV commercial for Carl’s JR.
So I thought to myself who will I be interviewing? Who was this Famous Star? Could it be Padma Lakshi herself? I hope my wife doesn’t get jealous! Could it be Paris Hilton? She had the last controversial Carl’s JR commercial. All Jimmy the Tool would tell me was a place and time to meet him and this Famous Star.
So I did my research watching Padma’s video at least a hundred times. I spent time studying her culinary moves. I was disappointed to find that her award winning book “Easy Exotic” was a cookbook, and I suppose at that point I should have expected that her book “Tangy Tart, Hot and Sweet” is likewise a cookbook. I suddenly felt like the man in the old twilight zone episode finding the book “To Serve Man.”
I prepared questions for Padma and for Paris. My favorite question I prepared is for Paris, and it is the question that still burns in my mind. Since she trademarked her catch phrase “That’s Hot”, do I owe her a nickel for writing it?
So the interview time came and I must say I was disappointed - as you can see by the picture above.
DM: What did you think of Padma’s ad?
“Really I was astonished…I mean I was always Padma’s first choice. How did she end up with The Western?!? I mean really! How do you let yourself be won over by onion rings and BBQ sauce when we all know what really matters is beef and cheese.”
DM: You seem upset. In your mind you would have been a better choice?
“Fuck yeah! I mean did you see how that burger treated her!?! She’s a lady and he’s all dripping his sauce all over her that’s so inappropriate.”
DM: What is your greatest regret?
“Not offering more choices, I mean come on I am meat and cheese. These guys come and steal my thunder based on toppings…I mean WTF!?!”
DM: How would you solve the financial crisis?
“Simple! Sit everyone down for a burger and if you didn’t help cause it, you get fries and a drink too. Then we just talk it out.”
DM: Do you believe in God?
“Yeah I do. I really don’t believe there would be sesame seeds on my bun without someone out there.”
DM: How do you define right and wrong?
“Simple burgers=right, chicken sandwiches=wrong. There are just some lines you don’t cross.”
DM: What is the most important thing in this world to you?
“My Patty, I work hard to take care of it. You know make sure I’m all beef and char-broiled.”
DM: If you had one thing you could tell the kids out there, what would it be?
“Stay true to yourself. You can cover yourself in fancy sauces or bacon, but under the bun we’re all just meat and cheese. Remember that and you will always make the right decisions.
Candido Conde-Pumpido, Spain's Attorney General, announced today that he would not support his country’s investigation against United States officials for war crimes.“The original decision to investigate United States officials such as George Bush, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzalez for the war crime of ordering and condoning torture was not in full possession of certain facts which present extenuating circumstances,” he said, “Subsequent investigation found that the supposed victims were Muslim infidels.”
Conde-Pumpido cited precedents in Spanish law supporting his position that dated back to the Inquisition and have continued through Generalissimo Franco and to recent treatment of Basque separatists.
“Torture is not always torture,” said Conde-Pumpido, “It is occasionally an instrument of salvation for both the potential victims and the perpetrators. Indeed, under certain circumstances, torture may be seen as an extreme instrument of mercy.”
President Obama, who has announced he will not seek prosecution of CIA operatives who tortured, welcomed the Spanish decision.
“This sure takes heat off my ass,” he said.
To further cool passions, the President, even as he authorized releasing memos that detailed the Bush administration’s methods of, and quasi-legal rationales for, torture, announced that he would not seek legal action against CIA torturers and their psychologist aides.
“Presidents must make the difficult decisions to exercise moral leadership,” he said, “And if you remember what happened to President Kennedy when he angered the CIA, it’s clear that were I to condone legal action against certain CIA operatives, I wouldn’t be around long enough to exercise moral leadership on the issues that matter to most Americans. What kind of example would that set for Sasha and Malia?”
Meanwhile, former Vice President Cheney also applauded the Spanish decision.
“Today, the Spanish government has taken steps which make us much safer,” he said.
The upbeat press conference, however, was marred by an unfortunate accident when a reporter who asked who the Vice President meant by “us,” was killed in an automobile crash on his way back from the press conference. Upon learning of the accident, the former Vice-President said, “Mrs. Cheney and I sincerely regret the loss of a life, even that of a reporter who asks questions.”
Written By: Jim Markunas
Photo Credit: Stephen St. John
That's what Tunecore president, Jeff Price was quoted as saying in an interview with the SF Examiner.
The quote goes on to say, "This is going to be the last year where there's any form of significant revenue generated from CD sales. The majors are going to be able to keep Walmart and Borders and Best Buy and Barnes & Noble into stocking inventory through this last Christmas season, but after that, the floor space is going to shrink significantly, and CDs are gonna go.'"
There you have it! There's speculation that after the 2009 Christmas season, retailers may drop physical music merchandise (i.e., CDs) completely.
What does that mean for us as an industry?
The quote goes on to say, "This is going to be the last year where there's any form of significant revenue generated from CD sales. The majors are going to be able to keep Walmart and Borders and Best Buy and Barnes & Noble into stocking inventory through this last Christmas season, but after that, the floor space is going to shrink significantly, and CDs are gonna go.'"
There you have it! There's speculation that after the 2009 Christmas season, retailers may drop physical music merchandise (i.e., CDs) completely.
What does that mean for us as an industry?
CDs will eventually go the way of vinyl. They'll be collector's items at indie stores around the world. However, there's two fundamental problems:
1. Vinyl sales alone can't finance a whole industry, and the same will soon be true regarding compact discs.
2. In the not-so-distant future, all music will be free. Yes... this means traditional music sales will generate little to no revenue.
Taking these two factors into consideration, it's important for the music industry to explore alternate sources of revenue. The internet is a vast space with limitless financial possibilities. There are literally millions of ways to generate revenue online, and there's no reason we can't start to use a few of these fresh new revenue streams as an industry.
Key point to remember: Everything can be monetized on the internet if digital space is leveraged efficiently.
OBLIGATORY PLUG: If you like my style, and think I can benefit your company shoot me an e-mail to set up an interview.
REVOLUTION | Various Artists Rapster Records (!K7 Label Group) Release date: June 9, 2009 www.k7.com
Written By: Mario R. Martin
Welcome to the first installment of “The Death of Modern Rock” for 2009. While 2008 saw a monthly column, your fearless scribe has not been moved to put pen to paper lately. It’s been due to a terrible economy, the rise of a California sales tax (8.25% wasn’t high enough, so Los Angelenos are now paying 9.25% on purchases) and the overall turmoil the country has been in since late last year.
Needless to say, there’s been little to celebrate. And even less on the music front. We’re watching record labels falter. We’re witnessing the crash of our favorite music stores. We’re even watching conglomerates fizzle. And we’re hearing nothing but shit on the radio. Yours truly has been buying less of the new, and more of the old, stocking up on David Bowie, Roxy Music, Joy Division, Depeche Mode, etc. Honestly, even my beloved Jane’s Addiction is turning out a new box set of old material I already have, but it’s still a priority!
Recently, a CD came across my desk from one of my favorite labels, !K7. I tossed it into the pile of CDs and DVDs I get and put it out of my mind. Nate at !K7 dropped me a line to follow up on the release (like a good publicist should do!) and asked me what I thought of this CD entitled REVOLUTION. I do love the label and I promised to listen that day as I shuffled to LAX and back. The result? The best !K7 has released since Thievery Corporation’s DJ-Kicks record…minus the bossanova.
I have a theory: the best way, and most fair, to judge music is to listen to it while you are driving, preferably loud. I couldn’t stop listening to it. It was the most relevant and beautiful thing I’d heard in such a long time. Okay, let’s start from the beginning…
REVOLUTION is a various artist release. There’s a great deal of Cuban influence on the release and even more back-story. I’d like to take a bit of a different turn though. Let’s get educated on the process first. Take six producers at the top of their respective games and toss in instrumentation from Latin, dub, hip-hop, etc. Toss in some of the best voices (namely Roisin Murphy who brings haunting vocals to any effort) and you’ve got yourself a perfect amalgamation of sound ready to heat up the approaching summer.
Most notable in this mix is probably Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim). While we haven’t heard much from him in recent days, he’s like an old friend you lose touch with, yet you have hours of material to catch up on. Next is Guy Sigsworth who is best known for working with Bjork, Madonna and Alanis Morrissette. Marius De Vries can be connected to the likes of the Sugarcubes, while Rich File has lent his genius to James Lavelle’s U.N.K.L.E. project. Poet Name Life brings on the Black Eyed Peas vibe while Cameron McVey and Stan Kybert team up again after having brought about their skills to Massive Attack, All Saints and Neneh Cherry (by the way, what ever happened to All Saints?!). Those are the players. They are the genius in this recipe.
With credentials like that, you’re bound to find something you love in this record. Now, do you remember when bossanova was all the rage? Every artist utilized the bossanova sound freely until it gave way to the ill fated ‘swing’ sound. Regardless, take the kitsch of swing, the danceability of Latin, subtract the unnecessary over-popularity of “Buena Vista Social Club” and you’ve got yourself a banger.
REVOLUTION has Cuban influences, and Cuban is the new Latin. This release just became the most necessary to hit shelves. When all else fails and every sound that’s called music these days turns its back on listeners, REVOLUTION is here to fill and bridge the gaps between the obvious and surreal, aurally pleasing and sensually teasing your every sense.
With the recovery by American ships in the Pacific Ocean of the failed North Korean satellite launch, new details have emerged about the secret North Korean project.“Retrieval of the satellite was easier than expected,” said an American official, “We had expected that it would sink pretty quickly down to the ocean floor, but it was actually bobbing on the surface.”
Experts surmised that the flotation qualities were due to the satellite’s unique construction.
“It seems to be a volleyball with metal hair curlers and rabbit ear television antennas glued to the surface,” said one unnamed official, “It’s really quite remarkable. Our next step is to conduct a spectrographic analysis to analyze what kind of space age bonding agent they used so that the hair curlers and antennas would remain adhered to the volleyball during the high winds and g-force present during takeoff.”
North Korean officials meanwhile insisted that the launch was a success, despite the fact that the rocket failed to deliver the satellite into orbit.
“This glorious achievement of Kim Jong Il heralds the dawn of a new era,” said a North Korean spokesperson, “Even as we speak the satellite is still traveling, and by the time it reaches America it will have traveled farther in one direction than any satellite any nation has ever launched.”
The international uproar over the launch meanwhile continued.
“This does for President Obama what the invasion of Grenada did for Reagan and the invasion of Panama did for Bush,” crowed one aide, “By taking the toughest possible position against a pathetically weak adversary, we can appear strong enough to temporarily shut up viewers of Fox News. This is pure red meat for the meat-heads.”
Written By: Nichole WagnerMy dad had all his albums arranged more or less alphabetically. A tattered red spiral notebook had a semi-complete listing for easy reference. Simple, yet remarkably effective for his 2,000 piece collection.
However, we live at opposite ends of the obsessive-compulsive spectrum. I need categories, sub-categories and sorting devices. With the digitization of music and the advent of iTunes, my music collection consists of over 600 artists, 3,000 records and some 260,000 songs. There's also nearly 2,500 physical CDs, several hundred vinyls and a hodge-podge of 8 tracks, 45s and cassettes. All this music requires a better organization method.
You'd think that taking a hint from record shops would be a good start. Start with genres and go from there. It would be great, except for making the decision of where a particular piece of music fits. What, besides drums, exactly separates bluegrass from country? What makes folk rock different from alt-country? And isn't there a fatal flaw in making categories so large that it encompasses Patsy Cline and Taylor Swift? Under the umbrella of "country" one could have country rock, country blues, country gospel, Nashville-style country, traditional country, pop county, folk country, Canadian country… you get the picture.
And what about the artists that fall bend their genres. For example, Bonnie Raitt started with the blues, swung through rock and landed somewhere in the sea of pop. Jenny Lewis' solo work would probably fit more neatly in the land of country but Rilo Kiley is something loosely referred to as "alternative" or perhaps "indie rock." There are too many categories, even for my tastes. So much for that idea.
Then I tried sorting by general geographical regions. Texas, East Coast, California, Southern California, Northwest & Canada, UK, Tennessee and Mountains.
It made for some strange bedfellows. Cyndi Lauper and Bruce Springsteen dominated the East Coast. Tennessee needed to be divided into Memphis, Nashville and a Nashville-outskirts to catch the country outlaws. Texas can be divided into two subgroups - natives like Willie Nelson, Lyle Lovett and Joe Ely and transplants such as Shawn Colvin, Patty Griffin and Asleep at the Wheel. California becomes a dumping ground for any other artist that doesn't easily fall into another category and couldn't realistically fit in a category with the SoCal sounds of Jackson Browne, the Eagles and Linda Ronstadt. Groups like the Pretenders ended up in the UK file though Chrissie Hynde is technically from Ohio. Another failed approach.
Moving along to loose associations. Starting with the artists I had the most CDs of: Emmylou Harris, Fleetwood Mac, and the Beatles. Emmylou is closely related to Gillian Welch, Dolly Parton and Patty Griffin. Drawing out the spiderwebs futher brings Nanci Griffith, Loretta Lynn and Bonnie Raitt into the fold. Fleetwood Mac can easily be grouped with the Eagles, Warren Zevon, Jackson Browne, and Tom Petty. But having first heard Nanci Griffith when she opened for Jackson Browne and I heard about Jackson Browne long before I was listening to Fleetwood Mac there was already a problem. It got bigger when I took into account the artists like Tegan and Sara, Brandi Carlile and Grace Potter & the Nocturnals - all of which I discovered in happy accidents.
I’ve known people to sort their albums by label, decade, year, producer and just about every other device under the sun. They’re all ineffective. It’s looking more and more like Dad had it right.
Buy On:Written By: Drew Madden
Photo Credit: Aaron Fallon
BAMN or By All Means Necessary is one of the new breed of Indie artists coming out of the LA Anti -Music scene, and I struck out on the road with them going from LA to Denver. Playing in front of packed houses, half empty clubs and everything in between, I got to witness firsthand what it takes to make it in a music scene falling apart at the hands of an industry that is a shell of its former self, the trials and tribulations of trying to work a dream into a day job , and what happens when a band and tour support are stuffed into a tin can called the Free Willy Wonka for months on end smelling like sweat, urine, beer, and Axe body spray.
This will not be the story of the surprise influence of REO Speed wagon, or a tale that tells of inner torment leading to eventual rehab like every True Hollywood story of every band created twenty years ago. This is the story of what four talented musicians have done to create a band with new voice and a stage show that will move you. This is the story of how By All Means Necessary makes it on the road and how four people from all across the country came to LA with a strongest most relevant sound that the city of angels has seen in years.
This winter rocked BAMN. After five years as front man. Matt was walking away. Some say it was the grind of the road, others say it was a new baby at home, and your author predicted that BAMN was done, but I was wrong about that, about everything. Zo, Chris, and Greg, the remaining members of BAMN, were getting some much needed R&R at The Playboy Mansion when they saw a gorgeous young singer opening for Skid Row’s Sebastian Bach. Desiree blew them away.
BAMN asked her to try out for the band, gave her a few songs to learn, and set a date for the audition. On that fateful day, bandaged and broken, she strode into BAMN’s LA studio ready to rock. After surviving a near fatal car accident, Desiree was intent on not letting anything get in between her dreams of rock stardom and her future band. Desiree sung through the pain, and blew them away once again. Desiree is more than just a great singer. She is an accomplished songwriter. The merge of her sound with BAMN’s created something greater than the whole of its parts. The new BAMN was ready to hit the road.
BAMN’s Sleep When you’re Dead tour starts at ten am. That’s the crack of dawn in rocker world. My instructions were clear. I was given a 19” x 13” x 11” space for storage, a really really small bunk, a strict warning that all personal items were to be out of common areas when awake, and a long list of necessary items that reminded me a little of summer camp. The most disturbing thing on that list was baby wipes preferably cucumber melon scented. Lastly I was given a stern warning that there was one offense for which there was no forgiveness…crapping on the bus.
First let me tell you a little bit about The Free Willy Wonka.
This 1994 Ford Fourwinds thirty foot RV sleeps seven, five of them comfortably. It was originally the tour vehicle for the US Bombs. While it is infinitely superior to a fourteen passenger van, it is roughly the equivalent of you and your five friends working from home in your 160 square foot one bedroom apartment, oh and there’s no shower. Where the shower used to be is my luxurious two square foot storage area. The smell is really something special to be experienced. Remember you and your five friends have no shower, a lot of beer, a really small budget, the AC only works when they use an extension cord to connect the power directly, and even the finest urinary marksmen have trouble hitting the toilet of a carpeted bathroom travelling 65 miles an hour and oh- you're half drunk on Jack Daniels.
Before tour I’m picturing one guy writing songs in the corner, beers all around, maybe a drunk girl wondering what the hell she was going to tell her mother when she gets dropped off in the next city, and after a great show it would all end in a giant pool party at a lesbian’s house with a slip and slide loaded with lube- but it didn’t happen that way, at least not all at once.
So we jump on the road, and no one grabs a beer. What the hell kind of tour was this going to be? First things first, Greg, the drummer, is known by another name…Chef Boy RV. He immediately is reorganizing cabinets and planning the week’s meals. Zo, the bass player, is driving. The merch girl is peeling stickers from old promo hand outs and putting new ones on. Chris and Desiree are checking on promoters, booking, and most of all doing last minute promotions. It turns out that using social networking sites like MySpace is how this band makes it work. This will take a little explaining.
BAMN is unsigned. They don’t use the term Indie in the stylistic sense. They have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps utilizing the tools found on the internet to create their own network. Most bands get started using financing from an indie label. BAMN is self financed. No corporation owns their music. BAMN pays for their RV, finances tour after tour, and records at venues like the Legendary Sunset Sound where the likes of Metallica and Prince record. They pay for this with cd’s, t-shirts, ringtones, and six bucks you paid at the door.
BAMN did it all themselves. They have over forty thousand MySpace fans. To give you an idea of what that equates to in terms of popularity you need to understand that My Morning Jacket and The Bravery have seventy five thousand fans. Me First and The Gimme Gimmes have sixty thousand.
So you see a lot of things on the road, and my job is to pick what would interest you most. So did I witness a remorseful drunk girl who hopped on the bus in one city get off it in another city wondering aloud “What am I going to tell my mother?” Yes, I did. Did I watch the creative process as they fleshed out songs from little ideas? Yes I did. Did I go to a pool party at a lesbian’s house at two AM where they set up a slip and slide that was wet down with lube instead of water? Yes I did, but by far my favorite story came on the night of Greg’s birthday.
Birthdays on the road are funny things. The band gets off stage, and usually beelines for the bar. The first round of shots came from a fan, and it was just Greg and the fan. By the fifth round it’s over ten people. Round seven came in about 10 min, and that’s when the bartender went to slow Greg down. Greg replied. “Are you my mother or my fuckin bartender? Give me the goddamn shot!”
The next hour or two are a little hazy, but I remember we were back on the bus, a quickly receding bottle of Buffalo Trace in hand, when someone decided we needed to go swimming. How we ended up at the elementary school pool I think I’ll never know. There was a ten foot high fence with spikes bent outward to keep you from climbing over, that I’m sure was responsible for half of the unidentified drunken injuries the next day, but not the worst one. Greg climbed the life guard tower to make his own high jump. Here I need to tell you that it was not set in cement, but rather a free standing structure.
Greg claims the third rung broke when the tower went over. Everyone else thinks the only thing that broke was his head on the cement. I think it was Zo who first noticed the bloody trail in the water. Chris anointed himself drunken doctor, and assessed the situation as minor. The next day the vomit and the blood soaked pillow told the story Greg couldn’t remember, but we had a show to get to so it was another day before Greg got his head properly treated.
The road is a party, but it’s a lot smellier and a lot more work than I thought. Those nights of partying are well earned. It takes a lot to make it doing it on your own, and that is precisely what By All Means Necessary is doing. Now I know what you’re thinking…what the hell was with those cucumber melon baby wipes?
Remember that shower that was converted into storage? It turns out that the biggest challenge on the road is finding a place to shower. So a four day stretch without a shower is common. The baby wipes are your shower, and the bus bathroom is far from the ideal locale. Your perfect choice is a local corporate chain coffee shop. You can lock the door, and they usually have a hook to hang your clothes. So one day I’m in Salt Lake City, and I am ripe. I need a real shower, but there is no time. I check the venue, but it reminds me of a scene out of "Trainspotting." I quickly assess the situation, and the only public restroom I can find is in a Sears dept store- not at all ideal.
I enter the restroom disappointed to find no locks and no hot water. By this time my shame was a thing of the past. So I’m working through my clean routine standing at the bank of sinks, and at this point am naked except for a pair of flip flops and a smile when in walks a Mormon Nordic Cowboy. He takes one look at me and heads for a stall. As you can imagine he left quite quickly, and without washing his hands. I’m quite sure the cowboy went to the bar that night to tell his friends of the bizarre acts of gay perversion he witnessed at the Sears that day.
Being on the road was a lot of fun but the best part was going out every night and seeing some incredible music. BAMN’s sound is current and relevant today. They are a breath of fresh air. In a music scene cannibalizing itself for safe investment, they dare to be unique and it pays off in spades. Go see By All Means Necessary and support real indie music, and if you like it…please let them shower at your house. ..They smell bad.
Written By: White Chicks On RapSnoop Dogg To Release A New Album Through MTV
Snoop Dogg has signed a multi-rights deal with MTV to distribute, market and promote his upcoming album “Malice In Wonderland”. The album will be released later this year and will feature Pharrell, composer Lalo Schifrin, and Dr. Dre.
Nas Recording With Damian Marley
Nas is recording with reggae star Damian Marley for a project that might be released in the spring. It is not clear which label will release it as both artists are signed to two different labels.
Nas is working with Dr. Dre for the Detox album and he hopes to tour this summer.
Lil’ Kim Not Happy With Notorious Movie
Lil’ Kim has expressed her anger at the biography movie Notorious, which shows the life and death of rapper The Notorious B.I.G.
The film was produced by P. Diddy and B.I.G.’s mother Voletta Wallace and based on the biography “Unbelievable: The Life, Death And Afterlife Of The Notorious B.I.G. by Cheo Hedari Coker.
Lil’ Kim said that the film portrays her as a bitch and a home wrecker and that she had a relationship with B.I.G. to advance her own rap career. Kim said that "I'm very disappointed in Faith (Evans- B.I.G’s widow). There's nothing Faith or Ms. Wallace could do to stop me from repping B.I.G. all day. I'm gonna always do that...It's time for Ms. Wallace to be exposed".
Faith Evans responded with "I try my best not to think about it; It's kinda sad. I got four kids, and I definitely don't have time for this type of shit. It's just sad. This is not my movie. I didn't write the script. Any characters in the film had to agree for their life rights to be in the movie. I don't think I would have signed anything had I felt I was not portrayed properly. I think she had the opportunity to do that. I could be mistaken. I wasn't there.”
Violette Wallace said that the film was about her son and that it is not the Lil’ Kim story and that if she does not like how she was portrayed, it is her problem.
In other Lil’ Kim news, she will be one of the contestants of this season’s Dancing With The Stars.
Death Row’s Assets Auctioned
The assets of Death Row Records, which include master recordings of Tupac, Snoop and Dr. Dre were auctioned for $18 million to WIDEawake, a Canadian development company. The company does not have distribution in the US and it has not been determined who the company will partner with to distribute the catalog.
Lara Lavi who represents WIDEawake said that they have ideas about what to do with the catalog and that “we're very respectful of Death Row's legacy and when the time is right we'll announce that."
Death Row filed for Chapter 11 protection in April 2006 and in July 2006, a CA judge ordered a bankruptcy trustee to take over the label.
Warner Music Group and Koch Entertainment originally put bids on Death Row (some estimates say the bids were up to $25 million), but because of Death Rows inadequate accounting and record keeping made it impossible to determine the label’s true value, they pulled out of the auction.
Cypress Hill Finishing New Studio AlbumCypress Hill is finishing recording their first album in five years and hope to have it out for a Fall 2009 release. The album is in the mixing stages. The untitled album will feature Everlast, Evidence and The Alchemist as guests.
The group has spent the last five years working on their own solo projects. B-Real has been working on “Smoke N Mirrors” which features Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, Buckshot, Damian Marley, Too $hort, Kurupt, Sen Dog and B-Real's protege Young De.
DMX Charged With Assault
DMX, who is serving a 90 day jail sentence for felony theft, drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty, has been recharged with assault after he threw a tray of food at a detention officer.
This recent charge of assault is not DMX’s first time he has gotten into trouble while in jail. He threatened to fight the guards. According to the guards, DMX started cursing and threatened to “assault somebody to get some respect”. While in lockdown, DMX is on a diet of bread and water.
Written By: Nichole WagnerIt's that time of year again and the music portion of SXSW kicks off this Wednesday.
Even without a badge, there's loads of free or nearly free shows to enjoy if you're in Austin this week. KGSR has shows at Auditorium Shores on Lady Bird Lake, and the morning broadcast from the lobby of the Four Seasons.
Numerous artists are playing side shows around the city and there's the annual Million Musician March for Peace on the 21st.
But, if you're sitting out for this year's festivities there's still plenty to be excited about in the musical world.
Lineups for the Telluride Bluegrass Festival have been released and with artists like Jenny Lewis, Conor Oberst, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, Three Girls & Their Buddy (Shawn Colvin, Emmylou Harris, Patty Griffin and Buddy Miller) and Todd Snider as well as perennial favorites like Sam Bush, John Cowan and Tim O'Brien it very well may be the best TBF in years.
Bonnaroo and Coachella lineups are also out and Thirsty Ear in Santa Fe has been moved from the perpetually rainy Labor Day weekend to the hopefully more sunny month of June.
On the album front, only months after Peace Queer, Todd Snider will release The Excitement Plan in June. According to YepRoc Records, Loretta Lynn makes a guest appearance on one of the tracks. Yes, the Coal Miner's Daughter singing on a Todd Snider album.
Slaid Cleaves, Po'Girl, Scott Miller the Greencards and Jill Sobule all have new records coming out within the next few months and Patty Griffin's gospel album reportedly will hit shelves the 19th of May. Brandi Carlile is also apparently planning a release for sometime in the near future.
As the economy worsens, the Obama administration has changed the name of Vice President Joe Biden’s Middle-Class Task Force to the Middle-Class Expeditionary Force.“We suspect there are still some middle-class folks left in this country, and I’m charging Joe Biden with finding out where they are,” said President Obama, “If we can locate the last remaining middle-class folks, we’ll try to save a few of them so our grandchildren will at least know what they looked like.”
Government economists worried however that the Expeditionary Force might be too late, and that middle-class people have transmogrified into lower-class people.
“If so,” said new White House Assistant Treasury Secretary Wally Street, “It’s probably too late to do anything for them. If you’ll recall from the last presidential campaign, no candidate ever said anything about the lower-class at all. It’s not like we can suddenly manufacture programs out of nothing. We can only do that with housing values and securities.”
In other economic news, government economists predicted that the Down Jones has finally stopped its decline.
“We believe the Dow has touched bottom and is now in the crapper but eventually we’ll be flush again,” said Street.
Written By: White chicks On RapC-Murder To Remain In Jail
A Louisiana judge ordered Corey Miller, better known as rapper C-Murder, to remain in jail for allegedly breaking the rules of his house arrest.
Authorities said that they lost the signal from Corey’s monitor device, but Corey’s attorney said that the rapper was at home sleeping and that the device malfunctioned.
The rapper is scheduled for trial on April 20th on a second-degree murder charge in connection with the 2002 death of 16-year-old Steve Thomas during a fight at a nightclub.
Since the rapper’s arrest, he changed his name to C-Miller and has written a novel and released a CD.
Tupac’s Mother Counter-Suing Film Company Morgan Creek
Amaru Entertainment (the company set up by Tupac’s mother Afeni Shakur) is counter-suing film company Morgan Creek, who is alleged with trying to sabotage the company from partnering with another studio to release a bio on Tupac.
Amaru released this statement about the suit, "Instead of negotiating in good faith with Amaru, they sought to obtain the rights by concocting a non-existent 'agreement' and engaging in heavy-handed threats, coercion and intimidation to interfere with and ultimately destroy the film project."
Last month, Morgan Creek filed a suite in Los Angeles Superior Court claiming that Amaru backed out of a deal to sell Tupac’s life rights for biopic. Morgan Creek said that they received a final term sheet in December and an agreement was about to be reached, but in January, Amaru pulled out.
Amaru is seeking a court declaration saying that there was never a deal with Morgan Creek, but that Amaru was speaking to several film companies about creating a biopic.
As former First Society Maven Barbara Bush continued to recover from her heart surgery, doctors revealed for the first time that they encountered a surprise during surgery.“We cracked open her chest and were amazed to find out that she already had a heart,” said Dr. Frank N. Stein, head neurosurgeon of Houston Methodist Hospital, “We immediately checked her wrist band to make sure this was the same lady who had raised George and Neil, and who had said that the Katrina evacuees were enjoying living in emergency shelters in Houston.”
Despite that surprise, surgeons reported Ms. Bush was doing well.
“Because we used the aorta from a pig, Ms. Bush is experiencing no difficulties with rejection,” said Stein, “The only problems we’re encountering since the transplant is that Ms. Bush has been insisting she wants to spend the rest of her life snuffling around the back yard of the family compound in Kennebunkport and spending three days a week on Wall Street.”
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