Whirled News - Ticker Tape

Less than 24 hours after the crash of USAir flight 1549, the first lawsuit was filed by passenger Claude McAuliffe, of Charlotte, NC.

“I never got my damn peanuts,” he said. “I saw a whole plastic bagful of ‘em back in the galley, so I know they were on the plane.”

The lawsuit was not the only sour note to creep in after the initial euphoria of the rescue wore off. Right wing talk radio shows condemned gay people’s behavior in the immediate aftermath of the forced landing.

“We can see the effects of years of tolerating homosexuals by what happened in New York City yesterday,” said one commentator, “That plane had hardly hit the water when we started hearing about fairies rushing up to it and grabbing people.”

Meanwhile, although divers failed to retrieve the plane’s black box because of thick mud at the bottom of the Hudson River, they did report finding traces of the Dow Jones.