“Once folks see me standing there talking to them, they’re gonna feel better knowing I’ve got a handle on things,” he explained.
The President intends to outline good news about the stock market, pointing out that last week the market dropped over 7 percent and lost 777 points, but that yesterday it dropped 7.3 percent and lost only 668 points.
“Our economists point out that as the Dow keeps losing points, each percentage drop translates into fewer points lost,” he will say. “That’s simple mathematics. Common sense. What our country’s built on and stands for.”
Meanwhile the Federal Reserve Board insisted that its .5 percentage point lowering of the prime interest rate two days ago was not meant by itself to halt the market’s decline but was part of a longer range plan.
“The prime rate is now 1.5 percent,” a spokesperson explained. “We intend to keep lowering the prime rate until it drops into negative territory, at which point we will begin giving money to people who own any debt.”
Plans are already in place to arrange for an orderly distribution of cash once the prime drops into negative territory, with those with the highest incomes receiving the first disbursements.
“It’s the only equitable way to do it,” the spokesperson explained. “The rich owe more, so they should go first. It's modeled after the Economic Recovery Package Congress passed the other week.”
Meanwhile, Senator John McCain today released his most specific economic bailout plan to date. Economic Plan 4.5, which replaces Economic Plans 3, 3.5 and 4, all of which were rolled out during Tuesday night’s debate, calls for the United States government “to buy up some of the bad mortgages and do something with them along with doing some other things too.”
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