Whirled News - White House Economic Advisors Arrested on Morals Charges

In a long-developing sting operation, several members and powerful friends of the Bush administration were arrested by Washington DC police today on public lewdness and other morals charges. Police apprehended them in a dark alley as they were taking turns lying on top of a latex life-sized female model.

“In the dim light, they thought this was the United States economy,” explained Chairman Ben Bernanke, “What looked like sexual excitement was really a desperate and well-meaning effort to revive her. They were not kissing her but attempting CPR, and instead of what looked like carnal gratification, they were trying to pump some life into her. This had nothing to do with any administration officials’ selfish needs or gratification”

The Washington DC District Attorney, however, dismissed Bernanke’s explanation.

“Clearly nothing they’ve been doing for the last seven years could have been intended to stimulate the United States economy in any healthy way,” said a spokesperson Announcing that more arrests were expected in their widening investigation of morals charges, including President George Bush and Dick Cheney themselves.

The District Attorney added, “This is not an isolated incident but has been going on for several years with Doll Jones. I know a gang rape ring when I see it.”