Written By: Dan SklutFred Markeson, aged 19, sat on a bench at a bus stop. He was a short, thin man, with short red hair, wearing a leather jacket and a traditional Scottish kilt. Waiting for the bus was a daily routine for him, something that was practically second nature.
Nothing out of the ordinary ever happens in a boring place like this, he thought. Just another typical day.
So he sat, waiting for the bus, when someone caught his eye. A beautiful woman walked to the bench and sat down right next to him. He was stunned.
Fred kept thinking of all the right ways to introduce himself to this beguiling female, but was spared the effort when she spoke first.
“How’s it going?” She asked.
“Alright; even better now that I have someone to talk to. My name’s Fred.”
“I’m Janine. You look like the type of person that might be interested in a good time.”
The young man tried with all his might to keep his eyebrows from rising; for fear that he might destroy any last impression of coolness he conveyed.
“A good time, huh? You’re right. I am interested. What do you want to do?”
“Oh, I have nothing to do with it. I’m just here to help you along, and get you started on it,” she replied.
His expression immediately went from intrigue to disappointment. Just my luck, he thought. Some hippie wants to sell me drugs.
“I’m sorry, uh, Janine, but I don’t do that stuff. Straight edge, y’know?”
“Oh, you got me all wrong, kilt man! I’ve got something way better than herbal refreshments. Take a look at this!”
And with that, she produced from her purse a silver cup. She handled it with the intensity of a surgeon transplanting a heart. Fred was confused.
“A cup? A cup’s going to get me started on a good time?”
“That’s right it will! It can do something amazing and incredible! Like, you wouldn’t believe your eyes if I showed you what it did! This cup is like no other cup you’ve ever experienced before. You’ll never get another chance to see a cup like this in your whole life”
“Oh, really? Wow! So show me what it does! You’ve definitely got my attention!” He wasn’t lying. Fred was a sucker for amazement.
“Well,” said Janine calmly, “There’s a catch. I can only show you what it does if you buy it from me first.”
She sounded like she’d done this a few times before. Fred looked at her, bit his lip, and thought.
“I have to tell you, Janine, that doesn’t sound like much of a business proposal. There are so many things wrong with it. Number one, I don’t even know what it does. For all I know, all it does is hold liquid, and then off you go with my money. Number two, if it is as amazing as you say it is, then what’s it worth? Where does the haggling begin? Do you set a price on it, or do I make an offer based on the level of amazement I’d expect from it? And finally, this is an incredible, one of a kind cup, so why are you selling it? It’s unbelievable, so how could you even put a price on it? Wouldn’t its remarkable properties make it worth hanging on to?”
“Jeez, are you on your way to law school, or something? I’m trying to help you here, and you go on with your analyzing, and quantifying! Talk about no fun!” Janine wasn’t expecting such a well thought-out argument.
She racked her brain to make her offer sound more appealing. Finally, she spoke. “Okay, you’re obviously smart, so how does this sound: if you want to find out what makes this cup so great, you name your price, and I’ll tell you. But I’ll only tell you how to use it if you pay me what seems fair.”
“Now that’s better. Alright, here’s one dollar. Now, what’s so great about this cup?”
Fred’s mouth was watering at the prospect of finally satisfying his curiosity. Eagerly, he awaited her response. She seemed to be savoring his impatience.
“This cup…” she paused.
“Yes?”
“This cup can make you any amount of money you desire.”
“No way! Any amount?” Fred exclaimed incredulously. “Well, that explains why you’d only need to hang on to it for a short amount of time! So, it’s magic or something?”
“Oh, I’d say it’s… or something.” See seemed to be concealing a sly grin.
“Well, how does it work, then?” He asked, his excitement marred by uncertainty.
“Oh no, I’m afraid you’ll have to buy it to find out.”
“Alright, how’s twenty dollars sound?”
“Twenty dollars?! You’re going to be a billionaire soon, and all you can part with is twenty dollars? Come on Fred, you can do better than that!”
“Well, if the cup worked as well as you said it does, then why do you even need to be paid for it? You’ve already got enough money to last a hundred lifetimes, then!” Fred felt pleased by his flawless logic.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I got tired of being rich all the time? Jeez, don’t you ever pay attention to any of those ‘three wishes’ stories? There’s always a catch to being rich! For me, I got bored, having everything I ever wanted at my fingertips, and decided to start working for what I needed. I wanted to earn my keep. So I donated my fortune to charity, and now whatever you pay me will be all the money I have to my name. You got it?”
“I guess. Alright, four hundred dollars will help you on your way then, won’t it?”
“Yes, that’ll do just fine.”
And so, the money and the cup were traded. Fred looked at it with the same wonder Janine did when she first took it out of her purse, and he now understood why. He held in his hands a powerful, mystical cup. He also noticed that as soon as the items were exchanged, Janine had been inching slowly away from him. The moment of truth was near.
“Okay, Janine, darling, make me a millionaire! How does it work?”
“Alright,” she said, drawing in a deep breath for dramatic effect, sliding away from Fred more and more. “You… simply… sell… ittoanotheridiotlikeyou!”
And with that, she bolted away.
For a few minutes, Fred just sat there, staring at his cup, mouth agape, ashamed of himself for being duped like that. Then the bus arrived. He regained his composure, and entered it. There he saw a homely young woman in the back of the bus, writing in her journal. Fred approached her.
“I’m Fred. You look like the type of person that might be interested in a good time.”
Fred kept thinking of all the right ways to introduce himself to this beguiling female, but was spared the effort when she spoke first.
“How’s it going?” She asked.
“Alright; even better now that I have someone to talk to. My name’s Fred.”
“I’m Janine. You look like the type of person that might be interested in a good time.”
The young man tried with all his might to keep his eyebrows from rising; for fear that he might destroy any last impression of coolness he conveyed.
“A good time, huh? You’re right. I am interested. What do you want to do?”
“Oh, I have nothing to do with it. I’m just here to help you along, and get you started on it,” she replied.
His expression immediately went from intrigue to disappointment. Just my luck, he thought. Some hippie wants to sell me drugs.
“I’m sorry, uh, Janine, but I don’t do that stuff. Straight edge, y’know?”
“Oh, you got me all wrong, kilt man! I’ve got something way better than herbal refreshments. Take a look at this!”
And with that, she produced from her purse a silver cup. She handled it with the intensity of a surgeon transplanting a heart. Fred was confused.
“A cup? A cup’s going to get me started on a good time?”
“That’s right it will! It can do something amazing and incredible! Like, you wouldn’t believe your eyes if I showed you what it did! This cup is like no other cup you’ve ever experienced before. You’ll never get another chance to see a cup like this in your whole life”
“Oh, really? Wow! So show me what it does! You’ve definitely got my attention!” He wasn’t lying. Fred was a sucker for amazement.
“Well,” said Janine calmly, “There’s a catch. I can only show you what it does if you buy it from me first.”
She sounded like she’d done this a few times before. Fred looked at her, bit his lip, and thought.
“I have to tell you, Janine, that doesn’t sound like much of a business proposal. There are so many things wrong with it. Number one, I don’t even know what it does. For all I know, all it does is hold liquid, and then off you go with my money. Number two, if it is as amazing as you say it is, then what’s it worth? Where does the haggling begin? Do you set a price on it, or do I make an offer based on the level of amazement I’d expect from it? And finally, this is an incredible, one of a kind cup, so why are you selling it? It’s unbelievable, so how could you even put a price on it? Wouldn’t its remarkable properties make it worth hanging on to?”
“Jeez, are you on your way to law school, or something? I’m trying to help you here, and you go on with your analyzing, and quantifying! Talk about no fun!” Janine wasn’t expecting such a well thought-out argument.
She racked her brain to make her offer sound more appealing. Finally, she spoke. “Okay, you’re obviously smart, so how does this sound: if you want to find out what makes this cup so great, you name your price, and I’ll tell you. But I’ll only tell you how to use it if you pay me what seems fair.”
“Now that’s better. Alright, here’s one dollar. Now, what’s so great about this cup?”
Fred’s mouth was watering at the prospect of finally satisfying his curiosity. Eagerly, he awaited her response. She seemed to be savoring his impatience.
“This cup…” she paused.
“Yes?”
“This cup can make you any amount of money you desire.”
“No way! Any amount?” Fred exclaimed incredulously. “Well, that explains why you’d only need to hang on to it for a short amount of time! So, it’s magic or something?”
“Oh, I’d say it’s… or something.” See seemed to be concealing a sly grin.
“Well, how does it work, then?” He asked, his excitement marred by uncertainty.
“Oh no, I’m afraid you’ll have to buy it to find out.”
“Alright, how’s twenty dollars sound?”
“Twenty dollars?! You’re going to be a billionaire soon, and all you can part with is twenty dollars? Come on Fred, you can do better than that!”
“Well, if the cup worked as well as you said it does, then why do you even need to be paid for it? You’ve already got enough money to last a hundred lifetimes, then!” Fred felt pleased by his flawless logic.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I got tired of being rich all the time? Jeez, don’t you ever pay attention to any of those ‘three wishes’ stories? There’s always a catch to being rich! For me, I got bored, having everything I ever wanted at my fingertips, and decided to start working for what I needed. I wanted to earn my keep. So I donated my fortune to charity, and now whatever you pay me will be all the money I have to my name. You got it?”
“I guess. Alright, four hundred dollars will help you on your way then, won’t it?”
“Yes, that’ll do just fine.”
And so, the money and the cup were traded. Fred looked at it with the same wonder Janine did when she first took it out of her purse, and he now understood why. He held in his hands a powerful, mystical cup. He also noticed that as soon as the items were exchanged, Janine had been inching slowly away from him. The moment of truth was near.
“Okay, Janine, darling, make me a millionaire! How does it work?”
“Alright,” she said, drawing in a deep breath for dramatic effect, sliding away from Fred more and more. “You… simply… sell… ittoanotheridiotlikeyou!”
And with that, she bolted away.
For a few minutes, Fred just sat there, staring at his cup, mouth agape, ashamed of himself for being duped like that. Then the bus arrived. He regained his composure, and entered it. There he saw a homely young woman in the back of the bus, writing in her journal. Fred approached her.
“I’m Fred. You look like the type of person that might be interested in a good time.”
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