The Death Of Modern Rock: With Mario R. Martin

Taking Back Sunday?...

Naw, Midnight Star!

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I was born in 1976. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 1976 in Kentucky also saw the formation of a seminal group that called themselves, Midnight Star. Disco was all the rage and punk was kicking back at the synthesizer. A sub-genre that refused to go gently into that good category was funk. Pioneered by the grandfather of funk himself, George Clinton, the music which resulted was put out by Clinton’s Parliament and Funkadelic outfits. Others like Earth, Wind & Fire, Kool & The Gang and the Ohio Players (and many others) matched the funk sounds, but eventually moved away from the sound, and the fury of the funk movement. Enter Midnight Star.

Midnight Star was fashioned after the funk movement. Despite forming in 1976 (a goddamn great year), the band built its fan base by playing incendiary live shows and showcases which led to signing with Solar Records. 1980 and 1982 saw releases of the debut and sophomore efforts from the band, but it wasn’t until 1983 when the Star released the ultimate of dance bangers, “No Parking On The Dance Floor” on the record of the same name. This record didn’t have just one hit though. The track “Freak-A-Zoid” is a giant in its own right, and others have been sampled in the hip-hop world more than once. But I digress; this is about the dance floor!

“No Parking On The Dance Floor” – Midnight Star

(No Parking On The Dance floor, EMI, 1983)

“No Parking” is such an anthem. It starts with a non-musical soundtrack (think “Let’s Go Crazy by Prince) where there are horns honking and a woman parks, to which a police officer says, “Excuse me madam, you’re standing still in a no parking zone. If you don’t get a move on that body, I’ll be forced to give you a ticket…so get with it!” Now, Midnight Star wasn’t reinventing the wheel with their music, but they certainly captured the essence of the early 80s desire for a party, a danceable track, and electronic vocals. One of the standout sounds from Midnight Star was the robotic voice box effect utilized by the vocalists. Yes, we also saw this out of Egyptian Lover and others, but Midnight Star capitalized on it all, and carved out a place for themselves in the funk lexicon.

Okay, Midnight Star had later hits. They did. They went on to have chart successes, but nothing really lives up to the massive exposure and radio success that “No Parking” achieved. Individually, the members even went on to work with the likes of Toni Braxton, Babyface, and more, but never will you have a hit like the one you heard in 1983 that boasted dance floors are no place to park your car. I’ve played this song for people and the sentiment is all the same, “I don’t get it. Why would you park a car on the dance floor?” Well dear readers, the message is simple: cars are veiled references for your ass. The real message reads, “DANCE FLOORS ARE FOR DANCING, STOP PARKING YOUR ASS AND DANCE!”

Now, this isn’t the first time I go off on a tangent about music that most of my dear readers have never heard of. Most people have heard snippets of the tracks I refer to on 70s or 80s compilations, late night on infomercials, but this is some important shit right here. For years I went to school. For years I learned and learned, and I honestly enjoyed it. I learned in elementary school, private high school and even took it to the university where I took higher learning to a new level. I was involved in organizations and I also worked. You want to know the most disappointing thing about all those years that I kept on learning? Well, I find it disappointing that I never heard a peep about the history of music. I never heard shit about Quincy Jones, or George Clinton or Malcolm McLauren or Joey Ramone or Robert Smith, etc. I did learn about Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, and so many more classical musicians.

In order to provide relevance to our current state of affairs, we should know the history of modern music. I put this to you parents. There happens to be an important campaign going on in the U.S. right now. I think it’s a farce. I think Barack and Hillary should be focusing on teaching the youth of America about the perils of not knowing about funk, new wave, early metal, hip hop (before we started hyphenating it) and everything in between. Why do kids drop out of school and live their lives like nomads on the street panhandling for money? It’s simple. It’s because they don’t have any mojo. They aren’t introduced to the funk early enough, and therefore are doomed to live a life of plain bologna sandwiches. Funny how these kids suffer from plain bologna sandwiches syndrome, yet they serve up plain bologna sandwiches in prison. Is there a correlation? Indeed.

Midnight Star was not the end all, be all of musicianship. They weren’t. They were, however, the best possible thing for the time in which they were most popular. This month’s column comes with a cautionary note. And yes, said note is from me.

CAUTIONARY NOTE:
Parents, teaching your children about funk is as important as teaching them about lying, or how not to touch hot surfaces. Instead of teaching them the basics that they will learn without you (such as touching hot surfaces), teach them about funk. Lying? Are you serious? Instead of stifling children from lying, try encouraging them. Some of the best politicians are liars, and vice versa. But I would still like to see Hillary’s iPod and see if she has any funk in her list. I’ll bet it’s just filled with The Starland Vocal Band instead of Midnight Star. Anyway, I don’t mean to get derailed. Parents, if your child touches a stove, they’ll get burned. It will hurt. They will probably not do it again. So, let them get burned, and to soothe their blistery wounds, play some Midnight Star. It has healing powers. It really does!