Whirled News Tonight

Faux discourse is smothering our country. Truth’s been wounded by greed, denial, intellectual and moral laziness, and insufficient concern for others. But as long as you can laugh, no one owns you, and the revolution lives. Laugh at your torturer, laugh at the Apocalypse. Sure the end’s near, but laughing’s a better way to go, right? Why rage against the dying of the light? Instead, pretend to whisper some last words to Mr. Death and when he bends down stick a wet tongue in his ear.

Swine Flu Linked to Terrorists

Obama Applauds Spanish Inaction on War Crimes

North Korean Satellite Launched

Economic Crisis May Have Reached Turning Point

Difficulties Revealed with Barbara Bush Heart Transplant

Neocons Seek Protection As Endangered Species

Economic Crisis Grows

Bush To Deliver Farewell Speech

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Economic News

Deceased Senator Roman Hruska Supports McCain

Hurricane Gustav Named "Perfect Storm"

Palin Revealed as Second Choice for Veep

John McCain's Acceptance Speech

Obama Urged To Revamp Campaign Strategy

White House Reveals New Ways to Stimulate Economy

Bush Angers Congress With National Intelligence Overhaul

Obama Running Out of Positions to Change

White House Economic Advisors Arrested on Morals Charges

National Guard Deploys To Texas For Hurrican Duty

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California Congressman Compares Torture to Fraternity Hazing

The Imminent departure of Two Major Political Figures

Senator Clinton Revamps Campaign Strategy

President, Candidates Address Gasoline, Climate Crisis

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White House Reveals Economic Plan

American Airlines Reluctantly Resumes Flying

White House Observes Earth Hour

Bush Administration Reveals Bold New Climate Change Plan

Outcry Against Negative Campaigning

God Expresses Despair Over Presidential Primaries

Fox News Apologizes for Unintentional Obama-Clinton Slur

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Illinois Presidential Primary Yields Surprises

Current Events Quiz

Democrats, Republicans Call For Unity on Economic Stimulus Plan

Mitt Romney Speaks on Mormonism

Analysts Explain Clinton's Surprising NH Win